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Monday, June 5th, 2006
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12:13 am - Holy hell
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This thing is still active? Do they ever delete these things? Should I actually start writing here again?
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
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1:54 pm - Hello
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| Thursday, November 11th, 2004
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2:07 pm - This and That
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Politics
I am becoming convinced that we are re-living the 80's. You have a re-elected Republican President, you have Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, a big fat deficit, the rise of the new Moral Majority, Opus is back, Duran Duran have a new album out, new Band Aid, creationism in schools, and the Simpsons are still on (they debuted in December of 1989). We live in interesting, if not recognizable, times.
In other crazy news, this is ridiculous:
For a year, Julee Lacey stopped in a CVS pharmacy near her home in a Fort Worth suburb to get refills of her birth-control pills. Then one day last March, the pharmacist refused to fill Lacey's prescription because she did not believe in birth control.
"I was shocked," says Lacey, 33, who was not able to get her prescription until the next day and missed taking one of her pills. "Their job is not to regulate what people take or do. It's just to fill the prescription that was ordered by my physician."
Some pharmacists, however, disagree and refuse on moral grounds to fill prescriptions for contraceptives. And states from Rhode Island to Washington have proposed laws that would protect such decisions.
(...)
The American Pharmacists Association, with 50,000 members, has a policy that says druggists can refuse to fill prescriptions if they object on moral grounds, but they must make arrangements so a patient can still get the pills. Yet some pharmacists have refused to hand the prescription to another druggist to fill.
In Madison, Wis., a pharmacist faces possible disciplinary action by the state pharmacy board for refusing to transfer a woman's prescription for birth-control pills to another druggist or to give the slip back to her. He would not refill it because of his religious views.</blockquote>
??? Really, if a pharmacy has a policy where they won't fill prescriptions for moral grounds, then they better state it upfront (and for Pete's sake, not giving back the prescription or sending it elsewhere should get that idiot fired and his pharmacy license taken away).. But what it comes down to is, if you have some personal reasons for not dispensing certain drugs, then perhaps pharmacology was the wrong job for you. Not to mention that some people take birth control pills for reasons not related to sex and pregnancy and what happens if there is only one pharmacy in town and the pharmacist has qualms about cancer medicine, or insulin?
Personal
We must boil our water. Seems the water we get comes from a reservoir that has been infected with a bacteria that exists in people colons. They are hunting down the source of the problem, but in the meantime we have to brush our teeth in bottled or boiled water. Not such a big deal, but rather inconvenient to not be able to pour a glass of water from the tap, or use tap water to make porridge, or wash freaking dishes unless you use boiled water or the dishwasher. The other day I contemplated to wisdom of brushing my teeth in Coke or orange juice but thought better of it (speaking of that, I once had Rice Krispies but I had no milk so I used orange juice. It was weird, but not entirely bad. Wonder what it tastes like with root beer? Or, vodka?).
My wife works at a bookstore. While she was on leave, they have totally redecorated, which is really cool. But the new management brought in some people to institute some new rules about what kind of work you can do at the register (they used to mark books for price at the register since they are standing there doing nothing sometimes) how to display books and stuff. Ok. One of the suggestions, to make it look nicer, was to arrange the books on the shelves by size. Or color of binding. Uh, ok. How are people supposed to find books if they are arranged by size? I picture someone coming in and saying, "Yeah, I want the new Grisham." And the employee asks, "I can't find things by author. Do you have the dimensions of the book or the color of the binding? We have green books over there, and red books in that section, all arranged from largest to smallest. Doesn't it look pretty?" I've seen this kind of idiocy when I worked insurance, with people who have no idea how to sell things trying to design advertising that looks nice, or is informative but in no way sells the product.
A few weekends ago, I helped some friends of ours move. They needed someone to drive the truck since neither of them has a license. I have come to the conclusion that working as a mover would have to be the worst job ever. I hate moving. I can't imagine doing it for a living.
Finally, more stuff I have learned since having kids:
- Kids are able to fall, flying several feet at a very rapid pace, to the ground from a motionless, standing position.
- The TV is unwatchable unless your nose is touching the screen.
- The best toys are not toys (boxes, utensils, pots and pans, pens, unidentifiable pieces of plastic, etc...)
- Kids are damp. All the time. All over.
- Changing clothes or a diaper of an infant who is actively trying to thwart you is, like, really hard and frustrating.
- If there is something spillable, anywhere in the house, even if hidden out of plain sight, a childs radar will seek it out and tip it over.
- If you don't want your kid to do something or go somewhere, that is the first and only thing they want to do, with an intensity of focus that is downright scary.
Thanks for reading.
Zaphod
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, November 4th, 2004
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8:40 pm - Politics off the top of my head
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Been thinking all day about what to write about this election. I'm kind of at a loss for words. It's not that Kerry lost, I was only lukewarm to him in the first place. I think it is a combination of things. One, that Bush won so convincingly, despite all the problems in his first term. I mean, we all know he wasn't exactly liked by the left. But he was losing support from many traditional conservatives and libertarians as well. And with all the stuff that went wrong in his first term ( Abu Ghraib (for which nobody has been held accountable), the Plame scandal, the deficit, lying about the cost of his medicare bill, misleading statements about the Iraq war, the many, many statements he made in debates and speeches that have been thoroughly debunked yet he continued to use them just for starters) I find it difficult to believe that so many people said, "Yep, he's my guy." But hey, thems the breaks. Congrats to Bush I guess.
The second thing was the votes for Senate races. Even more of a majority for the Republicans. What bothers me about that is that the Republican party always talks about small government, reducing spending, getting the government off our backs, yet they never follow through with it. The last four years saw the biggest expansion of government since Johnson, and Bush has yet to veto a spending bill. And in spite of this, Kerry gets labeled the big spending liberal. I wonder what they are going to do now that they are basically unopposed and can pass anything they want.
The third and most disturbing thing was the passage of anti-gay marriage laws in 11 states, and by a large number. I am speechless. I feel completely out of touch with what Americans are apparently thinking. I just don't comprehend what all the fuss is about gays getting married. Who cares, except for homosexuals? And even worse is the fact that I read a news item on Yahoo that says conservatives are delighted that a group of people in America are basically being denied rights (it is not special treatment, it is allowing them to be treated like any heterosexual couple who want the benefits of marriage).
Perhaps I have just become some elitist Euro-socialist (I'm not, really) but I just don't get it. Perhaps over the next few days and weeks I'll gain some understanding, but seriously I don't feel in touch with my home country.
I have more to say, but my thoughts aren't well, uh, thought out at the moment. I'll write more on this when I figure out how to say what I want to say.
Zaphod
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
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12:30 pm - Politics
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Mr. Mom day one. The Wife is back to work today, leaving at 8:30 and not returning until 5:45. These first few days are going to be chaos, as we get into a rhythm. So far, not so bad. Got Emma to the daycare and went shopping with Sara, then home for her to nap. Then I picked up the house and vacuumed and am now surfing the net. Wasn't that exciting?
So the election is today. For those of you in America who wonder, it is big news here. Top story, mostly, on all the news every day for a couple days now. Two of the national channels here will go live sometime after midnight, one (the national channel I guess equivelant to PBS but they also show Sopranos and Third Watch and movies and stuff so more comparable to the BBC.) will have all their own reporters and the other channel is going live with a combination of their reporters and a feed from CBS. I really can't make a prediction. I voted for Kerry, not because he is my favorite choice but mostly because he has the best shot of getting rid of Bush.
Whatever you say about left and right, whatever your opinion is, I can't figure out what exactly people see in Bush. Seriously. Not only do I think he is a bad president, I think he is a bad Republican president. I never thought I would see the day when I looked back nostalgically at Bush I or even Reagan, but here we are. At least with Reagan, with whom I had some major disagreements, it seemed as though he came at his position from a learned, well read perspective. He, at least before he the end when he was showing some clear signs of his coming alzheimers, appeared knowledgeable and honest about his position and I can respect that. Junior, however, doesn't seem, to me at least, to have any other sources for his beliefs than whatever Cheney and Rove tell him and his "gut" (whatever that means.) People say he is likeable. I just can't see it. Even if he says something I agree with, he still doesn't seem like he arrived at his conclusion by evaluating the facts and logically coming to a conclusion. At the least, Kerry seems intelligent and thoughtful.
But lets get back to what I said about being a bad Republican president. Sure he has lowered taxes. But he has imposed more tarrifs than Clinton, added a massive amount of spending (i.e. aid to our poor, struggling drug companies) to medicare, increased education spending, takes the federalist approach to abortion and gay marriage, increased foreign aid, has spent like the stereotypical liberal (never once vetoing a spending bill), more new federal regulations than any other president, signed the campaign finance law, proposed legalizing illegal immigrants, the Patriot Act, has a Wilsonian foreign policy (activist internationalist). I could go on, but that should be enough to make one wonder what exactly a conservative sees in him.
And speaking of taxes, I have been thinking lately of the old idea that liberals are all about tax-and-spend. What I thought was, which is better: proposing new spending and coming up with a way to fund that spending; or proposing new spending and cutting the funding for that spending? At the least, democrats want to do the responsible thing and fund their programs with taxes, rather than borrow the money. It reminds me of something I read by James Carville, who said that if you personally were in debt, working three jobs to pay for your excess spending, what is the proper response to this? Do you quit one of your jobs and attempt to lower spending (but you only say you are going to cut spending and instead spend the same or even more) at the same time? Or do you do the prudent thing and cut your spending while leaving your jobs alone until you are in a position where you can afford to quit one of those jobs? Tax cuts with no decrease in spending is irresponsible. But somehow, Republicans are seen as better at running the economy (even though the economy has done better under Democratic presidents than Republican ones for most of the post WWII era).
So anyway, I voted for Kerry. More a strategic vote than a conscience vote. And even though I lean more liberal than conservative (I tend to call myself a left-libertarian) I can say that I never voted for Clinton (voted libertarian both times) even though I think he was a much better president than the current one.
I have some odds and ends, my usuall goofy ass randomness, but now I gotta do some stuff around the house before Sara wakes up. I'll be online a little bit more since Sara is so easy to take care of (it may sound like bad parenting to surf the net while your one year old roams around the house by herself, but trust me, she prefers it that way. Half the time if you get down on the floor and play with her she plays for a minute and then goes off by herself to play with something else. She enjoys her own company and exploring by herself).
So we'll see y'all tomorrow, when we may or may not know who won this election thingy.
Zaphod
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, October 14th, 2004
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10:26 pm - Things I have learned about having kids
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- Never start any activity you are not prepared to do 1,000+ more times in a row (like flying them around the room, helping them jump on the couch, playing tag, etc...).
- If it can be spilled, it will be.
- Speaking of that, you might as well purchase your very own paper towel manufacturer.
- There is no material or chemical difference between quick-dry cement and dried porridge.
- When doing an activity that the child does not want to do (like toothbrushing or putting on clothes) the parent that did not initiate the activity will be the one that absolutely must do it, and the child will let you know this by throwing a screaming fit and falling to the floor. More than half the time, if you switch parents, the child will then want the original to do it. It is all about stalling and manipulation.
- Everything is about stalling and manipulation.
- If they always wake early, the one day where that would fit perfectly into your schedule (with naps and meals and stuff) the child will sleep in.
- Tape everything on TV that you want to watch, or at least be prepared to tape everything.
- Kids are mood detectors. If you have no patience one day, they will be as annoying, whiny, and irritating as is possible (and not much of that is due to your lack of patience. Their annoying behavour worsens.).
- Assume you will be late for everything.
- If you go to bed early to get some extra sleep, the kids will wake in the middle of the night or wake up earlier than they usually do precisely the number of minutes you went to sleep early.
- Ban sugar. Kids on sugar make you tired just looking at them.
- Anything that does not occur precisely as the child imagined it apparently means the end of the world is nigh.
More later....
Zaphod
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(comment on this)
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10:10 pm - Dora
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Don't you hate it when you don't write something in your diary/journal for a while and then when you finally do get the hankering to write you can't figure out how to start, kinda like if you hadn't returned an email or phone call from a friend for a really long time and now you feel like a moron and don't know how to start up the conversation again, but if you thought about it for a minute all you have to do is begin like there was no break at all and no one really cares very much because they are just happy you made contact again? I didn't really experience any of that angst for not writing here, but let's pretend I did to make you all feel more important.
So let's just begin the random sampling of thoughts and junk that swirl around in my now stuffy and snot infested head.
Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorer! Pretty much all we hear in this house. Emma is obsessed with this show. We have been taping them for her and she watches the tapes over and over and over and over... What is cool over here is that Dora speaks Norwegian (for those of you not in the know, Dora in the States speaks English of course but she is apparently Mexican and speaks Spanish from time to time, much like the old Sesame Street did when I was kid (not sure if they still do that)). When she says the stuff that in the States would be in Spanish she says them here in English, which is perfect for our bilingual household (speaking of that, I speak some sort of weird language with Emma that I like to call NorwEnglish. Half of what I say is in Norwegian and the other half in English, sometimes in the same sentence. Like I would say, "Time to go sove" where sove is Norwegian for sleep. Somehow, she understands this.)
Speaking of Emma, she can sleep on command. If I am in her room for her bedtime ritual (reading a book and singing, which should cause her to not sleep at all since my singing voice can peel paint at a hundred meters) I can tell her, if she is goofing around, that I have to go so she has to go to sleep now, she will be asleep in about a minute.
Nickelodeon shares channel space on our satellite system with the Playboy channel. It is kind of jarring to see Sponge Bob or Sabrina (not that I watch Sabrina but I do watch Sponge Bob, he rules.) at 6pm and naked tits at midnight. Not that I would ever complain about naked tits, but it is a strange choice our satellite company has made. Speaking of tits, on our system we get Playboy and something called Playboy Extra which is from Britain and is literally as close as you can get to real porn without actually showing the deed as you can get. I mean, they will show some woman giving a blowjob (mmmmmm...blowjob, he said in his best Homer voice) and you can see her lips wrapped around something but you aren't sure what it is (but that is what imagination is for). It is amazing editing, they should win some sort of technical Emmy. None of that matters however, since two of our six movie channels show full-blown hardcore porn films at midnight. My vote for worst porn is the Babewatch series, which is chock full of over the hill, over-siliconed, over botoxed, over made-up, over bleached blonde women I have ever seen. Unwatchable, and that says a lot.
Speaking of jarring transitions, I have made a list of things I have learned about having kids. I am going to give that its own entry however, since I want to preserve it as a series of posts (yeah, as if I can write anything at all on any consistent basis and now I am starting a series.). Anyway, you will find them of you click on the next entry button down there somewhere (unless of course you are reading this before I post the next one. If so, wait about 20 minutes and then you can read it.)
Peace.
Zaphod
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, September 23rd, 2004
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10:04 pm - Dictators
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It's Thursday. I cut my hair today. It rained. I didn't know how to start this entry. Can you tell?
I have concluded that Emma's sole purpose in life at home is to rule Sara with an iron fist and not let Sara touch, well, anything at all. No part of Emma may be touched. No part of any furniture that Emma is currently touching may be touched. No furniture that is currently being touched by Sara can be touched if Emma sees it and wants to touch it herself. No toy or object that existed before Sara may be touched as it is the eternal property of Emma. In fact, no toy or object, regardless of ownership, may be touched if Emma doesn't want it touched. All toys and objects that are given to Sara and are Sara's property may be touched by Sara without approval of Emma. Punishment for violations include removing object by force, yelling and crying, pushing or occasionally hitting and kicking.
Sara, on the other hand, doesn't see it that way. She seems to go out of her way to touch things that Emma doesn't want her to touch, often Emma herself. Emma likes to, uh, how should I put this...uh, basically masturbate (she likes to lay face down with her legs in a frog position with her hands extended down through her crotch and rock back and forth, something she calls "humping" (she has no idea how apt that word is). All kids do this, well, at least I have heard of a lot of girls who rub against stuff at this age. I think it relaxes her and gives her comfort and releases tension. She did it at her old daycare until she became really comfortable there and then she stopped for a long while but started up again soon after starting her new daycare.) anyway, she does this on the sofa and Sara likes to crawl up to the sofa and stand up right next to Emma and, horror!, touch her. Basically, I spend all my time alone with the two of them playing referee and separator. It is really getting maddening.
The Sopranos are on in 20 minutes, barring overtime of the soccer match that is currently on.
I don't have much else to say at this point so I will leave you with some pictures.
This is what Emma thinks belongs in the fridge.
Apparently, we don't feed Sara enough...
"Another picture???"
What does image mean to you?
So has everyone gotten/given a BJ this week?
Zaphod
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, September 19th, 2004
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1:08 pm - Just because
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I really want to write an entry but I have nothing to say. So I am just going to start writing and see what comes out.
Emma is all better now. Still kinda cranky in the afternoon, but that is just tiredness (and three-year-old-ness). She also seems to really like her daycare now and talks about it when she isn't there. So I presume most of her problems in the beginning were because she was sick.
I think it would be cool to be a nurse, as I am interested in medical stuff. But it seems that nursing is primarily about taking care of old people. And taking care of old people includes things like getting them dressed, changing their diapers, helping them pee, cleaning them up when they pee or poop in their bed, rolling them over, etc... I think I would have to be an ER nurse or a surgical nurse if I was a nurse. Not that I am seriously thinking about becoming a nurse. I am just trying to write something.
I have about had it up to my eyeballs with petty politics. Who cares about Vietnam? What these guys did 30+ years ago has no bearing on what they are going to do in the next four years. 30 years ago, I thought it was fun to kick the dog as I swung on the swing set and thought I had the right to push my little brother down the stairs. Should that be held against me? I guess, though, I would have more respect for Bush if he just said, "You know what, I was a kid. I liked to party and I fucked off my Guard commitment. I gave all that up when I found Jesus when I was 40 or so and I'm not the same guy I was when I was 20" Who is? I was an idiot when I was 20, even though I thought I had everything figured out (by the way, is there ever an age where you don't look back 10 years and wonder why you were such a moron? I remember reading someone who said that every ten years they looked back and realized what an asshole they were, until finally coming to the realization that they are in fact an asshole. Not that I am an asshole. Well, technically, a small part of me is an asshole. That would be my asshole.). To be fair, I would also have more respect for Kerry if he would actually state a position and stick to it. I don't mind if someone changes their mind based on new information (for some reason politicians are supposed to have unchanging positions for their entire lives, regardless of circumstances or facts or changes thereof. If you don't support Gulf War II, then you can't ever have shown support for any war anywhere. And vice versa. If you support tax cuts then tax cuts are the answer for everything, every time, in every situation. This is just beyond retarded.) but Kerry is impossible to nail down on some issues. I'm still not sure who I am going to vote for, other than I know it ain't Bush.
They showed the first episode of The Swan here last week. How fucked up is that show? Yet I can't look away. It is like a distillation of everything that foreigners think about Americans. I mean, willing to do that to your body in order to win, what, prettiest fake person? And what does this say about me, that I willingly watch this crap?
I think, since I can't think of much to write about, that I should start another round of ask me anything. Leave a note, ask a question about anything (really, I can't think of much that would be off limits) and I will surely answer, eventually. Seriously, give me something to write about.
Other than that, here's hoping everyone gets a blowjob this week. Or gives one.
Zaphod
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
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12:47 pm - Lots of crap
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Driving in this town is interesting. At times, it shouldn't be called "driving" but "stopping, with moments of movement". First of all, you have all the crosswalks. They don't really have these in the States, at least not like they are here. Here, you have crosswalks at any point in the road, and they have a big blue sign and white walkway and you are required to stop your car if someone wants to cross. I have no problem with this, other than there are far too many of these. This means you are constantly stopping your car so one person can cross the street in the middle instead of walking to the next block's stoplight. And it amazes me how many people just start walking across the street at these crosswalks without even looking for cars and then if you have to stop suddenly at one of these people who dart out into traffic they look at you like you are a total asshole. The other thing is something I mentioned long ago (but is probably lost in my Opendiary now that all my entries are gone). On non-main roads you have the obligation to stop to allow cars coming onto your road from the right. Again, it amazes me how many cars just fly right out of the intersection without pausing to see if the cars on the road are going to stop. Then you have to work your way around the bicycles, which never ride on the sidewalk. And with the roads here so narrow (because this city pre-dates any city in America by at least 700 years and the roads were originally designed for horses, carts and walking) it can be a real pain to get around bikes (not to mention parked cars). Then of course there is traffic. Around about 3 in the afternoon you just can't drive anywhere around this area for an hour or two without sitting in a giant line.
Uh, I would say more but I had to stop writing for a little bit and do some work and now I am kinda bored with that topic (as you all are as well, probably).
I got a new watchband. It makes leathery squeek sounds. Much better than the old band which was held together with duck tape (do we call it duck tape now? It used to be duct tape, used for taping, well, ducts. But now I think everyone calls it duck tape. Or is it that people aren't pronouncing the "t". And I know there is a brand of duct tape called Duck Tape. This is all so confusing...)
They are ripping out the entire contents of the old (now dead) lady's apartment downstairs. And when I say "entire contents" I mean, everything like the whole kitchen is gone now (cabinets, counters, wallpaper, everything). It made an amazing racket yesterday. Bet it was fun. They are redoing the whole place so he can rent it out (nothing had been done to the place for like 60 years, as the old lady had lived there that long. She raised several kids in a one bedroom apartment that had no hot water or shower. Anyway, they started hammering at 7 this morning. I was up since I had to go to work, but that would suck if you wanted to sleep past 7. Much louder than the radio the old lady used to play at 5am at a volume that would probably be painful for folks who could actually hear normally.
What is it with the word actually? I use it way too much and apparently (that's another overused word) it is a midwestern thing. Like adding the word at to the end of questions (like "where is the vibrator at?" instead of "where is the vibrator?" Not that I recently asked this question, just looking for something to look for and typically my mind went dirty).
My dad sent us $500 out of the blue, just because he can and because he is apparently (he he) cool. He also sent barbeque sauce (barbeque sauce here sucks) and candy and stuff that we asked for. But man, the 500 bucks is gonna come in handy right about now.
If you are ever reading or engaging yourself in a political argument and the person arguing uses the words apparently, evidently, obviously or seemingly, you can rest assured that whatever they say after that was pulled directly from their ass. Watch for this the next time you read a column by Ann Coulter or listen to Sean Hannity (not that liberals don't do this, but these two are the king and queen of pulling crap out of their asses and flinging shit at their opponents).
The kids are ok. Emma is adjusting to the daycare thing by being kinda cranky and clingy at home. She was a bit like that when she started the other daycare but it wasn't a few weeks before she was basically begging to go there so I am sure this will pass. It's just a lot of changes for her all at once. And of course it makes you feel bad and like you are doing something wrong but once she gets used to the people there she is going to be comfortable again. She has already made at least one friend who she talks about and she likes her primary daycare lady (what do you call those people? Nannies?) who has a difficult, very Norwegian name: Gunvor (there may be two n's in there, I am not sure. And yes, it is a woman.). All Sara wants to do is stand, which is difficult for her since she, well, can't. So all she does is find you, grip both your hands in hers and stand herself up and then bounce up and down like she is the proudest kid in the universe. I can't wait till she can walk and talk.
Oh yeah, the Olympics. I wanted to mention that Norwegian announcers are insane. They get so excited it is a little bit crazy. Even if there is not a Norwegian competing they get all riled up and sound like they on the verge of having a seizure. The other day during one of the swimming finals the announcer was actually getting hoarse because he was yelling so loud and there wasn't a Norwegian in the event. It is even worse when there is a Norwegian competing. Back in 1998 when Norway beat Brazil in the World Cup (that's soccer for you heathens) I thought the announcers where really going to have a heart attack. That was the first summer I was here in Norway. Here with my wife (not my wife then), both of us with no jobs and no money and no responsibility and nothing to do but sit around and play cards and have sex and eat what little food we could afford after buying beer and Jagermeister and have sex and sleep until noon and have sex. Boy, those were the days.
Ok, that was a long one. And written in about 15 minutes (I type fast). No blowjobs, but that's married life (ba da boom! My apologies to the Wife for that, but it was such an obvious joke I couldn't pass it up).
That's it. Stop reading. Leave a note. You know you want to.
Zaphod
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, August 18th, 2004
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1:19 pm - Grossness, sort of
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So Friday night I got some serious stomach cramps and spent several trips to the toilet cramping, sweating and generally in pain. It was horrible, so in went the Imodium. This stopped it for the night anyway and I was a little uneasy the next day. Saturday night I stupidly thought that tacos would be a good idea (you know, every Friday we eat the same thing: roast beef sandwiches on baguettes with some homemade cajun fries that I whip up. And Saturday is turning into another traditional meal, tacos. I never seem to get tired of eating tacos.) Anyway, bad idea. This led to another round of Imodium, which basically froze the lower half of my body, making it so I not only don't poop but I actually have trouble peeing. (This is fascinating, isn't it?). There is a good side-effect here though. Had sex Sunday night. With my lower half basically not functioning, it took me forever to, uh, finish. My wife was happy.
Crappy story with a happy ending.
I was just talking to one of the nurses here and she wanted me to order an instrument. Of course, the name of it is in Norwegian and means nothing at all to me and I have no idea what the instrument is. When I talk to the guys who I order this from they are asking me questions about it, and I have no idea what he is asking or what it is exactly that the nurse wants. You would think that if I go back to the nurse and ask her to call this guy and explain what it is she wants he could send it up to her. But no, she explains to me in great detail what it is she wants so I am now going to have to call this guy back, still not sure totally what it is, or if what he does have will work for what she wants to do (which was one of his questions to me). So I am gonna call now and then write more when I get done with what will surely be a retarded conversation. OK, now the situation is complicated enough that I am not going to go into it here. The easy part is that I can go to a different department and borrow one. Speaking of this place, what the fuck is going on with everyone? I've got people coming up to me all hostile asking me to do stuff I have already done and acting as if it is the end of the world that they only have 2 packs of adult diapers to last until tomorrow morning (when one pack will last the whole damn week in this department). This one nurse just came up to me and condescendingly told me that there was stuff in their ordering book that needs to be ordered and am I going to be bothered to order them today, and when I look at the book there is one item there, and I ordered it yesterday and it came in already and is sitting in their supply room! I've talked about this before, but it just irritates me the way some of these nurses talk to me like I am an idiot and so beneath them.
The Olympics are on and I am just glad I don't have to endure what I know is the craptastically horrible coverage on NBC. From past Olympics I know that if I was watching in the states I would be yelling at the screen, "shut the fuck up and show some sports already!". Here, you get everything live. And sure it is Norwegian centered, why wouldn't it be, but at least I get to see some good stuff. It is on here from 7 in the morning until 5 at night and then again from 7.30 to 9, with more updates and stuff after 11. What is really cool about the Olympics is that you notice yourself just totally rooting for your own country, even though any other time you could really give a shit. I care not a whit about gymnastics but I was rooting for the Americans to take the team gold. And by the way, why do female gymnasts paint their face like hookers? It is really disturbing to see these preteen looking little elfin children with huge globs of eye makup and rouge. It's almost as disturbing as those toddler beauty contests. And even more disturbing is listening to the parents of these toddlers.
Not much else to add. Suddenly, I am at a loss for what to write so that will be it for today.
Have a nice day.
Zaphod
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10:32 am - Daycare and using the potty
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Emma has her first day at the full time daycare today. The other daycare she was going to is something that you really don't have in the States called a barnepark (barn = child park = park). A barnepark is not a full time daycare, but a place that basically babysits your kid from normally 10 - 2pm, primarily outdoors. Today, she will spend a couple of hours at her new place, with mom there to, well, be there with her. She will spend a little more time there tomorrow, and mom will pop out for a while and leave her alone. Same on Friday I think and then Monday she can spend the entire day there.
First, I don't really want to get into an argument about the benefits and drawbacks of daycare. I think there are pros and cons and that each individual child would have a different set of pros and cons to consider. For us, Emma goes absolutely bonkers if she is indoors with us all day. Or even outdoors with us all day. She really likes being outside and she absolutely loves being with and playing with other kids. She is extremely sociable, so much so that at her old daycare (barnepark) the lady who ran the place always teamed up the new kids with Emma because she would be nice and comforting to them. When asked the other day, on my day off, if she would rather go to the barnepark or to the beach with us she said she wanted to go to the barnepark first, then the beach. She really loves it, and I think she will love her new place, which provides much more of a preschool atmosphere than the park (in the park they basically just babysit, let them play, help if the are hurt, feed them, change them, etc...). The new place has activities and excursions away from the daycare and of course lots of play.
We also had to consider that if we are both working, Emma will have to be somewhere (and Sara too, for that matter). And here in Norway, there are a limited number of daycare spots and if you don't get one you are up shit creek, having to find a private nanny. Since Emma got accepted we pretty much had to take it, not knowing what our working situation will be in the future (for me that is, my wife has a permanent job that she will go back to in October or November). Right now, since I don't have a full time, permanent job I am probably going to not work when my wife goes back to work in November. The problem is, I get about $1,200 on unemployment. And the state pays you something like $500 a month if your kid is not in daycare (like Sara). Add those together and you get an amount that is higher than I can take home from this job even if I work all the time (which is no guarantee at all). Plus if I work here full time we would have to place Sara somewhere that would cost money, thus lowering even further our net income (especially if we get her into a daycare, thus having to pay for the daycare (about $400 a month) AND losing the $500 for not having her in a daycare, thus creating a $900 a month swing in what we take home). So from a money standpoint it makes no sense for me to continue working here on a temporary, not really full time basis. Of course, if I got offered a permanent position here I would take it and we would live on what we got. And my unemployment is only going to last a year. So I have one year to find something permanent, which better happen because I am getting sick of living like we do, from paycheck to paycheck and no guarantee of what I get for salary.
In other Emma news, she is going to the toilet by herself now. It happened mostly because two girls at the barnepark were using the toilet and she wanted to as well. So now she basically runs around all day without a diaper and tells us when she needs to pee, or poo. And because she is scared of peeing in her pants, she goes way more often than necessary, even sometimes not going at all the first couple of times. But better too many times than too few.
And both of them are sick again, Sara worse than Emma. Last night Sara was hacking up some phlegm in her throat which she couldn't seem to get rid of and it triggered her gag reflex so she looked like she was going to puke over and over until she cried. And she sleeps like crap, which makes for a tired cranky kid and a tired cranky mommy. Colds just suck.
And since this was a boring kid and daycare entry, I will post another entry for my normal retarded musings.
Zaphod
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| Thursday, August 12th, 2004
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1:19 pm - Hot and raunchy
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It's fucking hot. Hey, I am used to hot weather, coming from Iowa. Normally in Iowa it is brutally hot all summer with ridiculous humidity. We aren't used to a lot of heat here in Norway though. The other day we set a record for the highest temperature in the month of August at 30.7C (87 degrees fahrenheit). And yeah, that isn't really, really hot. The problem is that when it gets this way, which is not even every year, there is nowhere to go to get relief. We don't have air conditioning at work (which is bad because right now any movement at all makes your whole body sweat), or at home or even in most stores. What is worse is that there is virtually no wind and we don't have a fan so the other evening the temperature inside was a balmy 32C (89 fahrenheit). Doesn't make for very good sleeping.
One thing that was cool is that, because of the heat, we got a nice thunderstorm here in the early evening. I love thunderstorms, and I am very used to them coming from Iowa (geez, how many times am I gonna mention Iowa in this entry?). We don't get many of them here because it never gets hot enough to generate a good one (we do however get some in the winter, when it is cold and getting warmer). It was a good one, with lots of lightning and thunder, much to the delight of Emma, who made a little O with her mouth and said "ooooooooooooooohhhhhh" every time the thunder cracked. Not sure how much Sara enjoyed it. She certainly noticed it.
Why is it that the guys who spend the most time combing their hair and looking in the mirror are the ones who have very little hair? For that matter, why are too many guys so concerned about losing their hair? I have had gray hair sprinkled through the sides and back of my head since I was in my early 20's (not to mention that my rather thick chest hair is going gray as well. I wonder if my back hair is getting gray... Better ask the wife.). And I am receding as well, so it is getting pretty thin on top. The only option I find sane is to cut it short. I am not going to comb over or grow something I can tease into a thin, poofy fur hat (like the guy I see in the locker room every morning at work) just so I can kid myself that I still have a full head of hair. I am going bald. And gray. That is life.
Let's see...the vote was for some more raunch, right? How about this. I've been wondering what is up with my obsession with blowjobs. I know, pretty typical guy obsession, but why is that? Obviously, it feels really, really good. But not significantly better than regular sex. There has to be more to it than that. One thing I know I have always thought was that it is possible that guys like it so much because they can't imagine why anyone would want to, give a blowjob that is. And since the guy can't imagine why anyone would actually enjoy giving a blowjob, they get an incredible ego boost and feeling of acceptance when their significant other does want to do that. Plus it feels good. This doesn't explain gay men. But it does explain why guys like the woman to swallow (it's that acceptance thing again). I think there might be a dominance component as well, although for me I have never felt like I wanted to be dominant. And then again, I know some women say that they like to do it because it makes them feel dominant. I know my wife likes to do it because she likes the response she gets from me. She derives pleasure from giving me pleasure (and of course, I do as well (like to give her pleasure that is)). If anyone else has any opinion on why they like to get/receive blowjobs I am sure it would be titillating to hear.
Anyway, there is some raunch, although kind of cerebral raunch.
God, it's hot in here.
I've been having quite a few migraines lately. Wonder if it is the heat (dehydration). I tend to get them in waves, every day or every other day for a week or two, then none for a month or more. Had one yesterday at work that was quite bad. The problem is I am out of the awesome medicine my mom sends me (Maxalt MLT) which has no side effects whatsoever and am stuck with Imitrex, which gets rid of the headache but makes me kinda light-headed and nauseous for a while. Nauseous plus really hot and sweaty plus moving around and lifting stuff at work equals something not very good.
I have a three day weekend.
Did I mention it was hot in here?
Zaphod
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| Thursday, August 5th, 2004
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1:37 pm - Poop
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Every morning, without fail, one of the first things I do is poop. It is weird and it is every single morning. I am sure you are all proud of me, but it was a way to start an entry so I did. And I guess I am glad that I am regular (you know when you are getting old when you start talking about your poop schedule).
It is hot as hell here. And when I say hot, I mean not really that hot at all. But it is hot for here. We have had sun and temperatures approaching 80F degrees (gasp!). Yeah, that isn't really hot at all. However, the problem is that there is no air conditioning. This week at work I am working on the 7th floor. Having no air conditioning in here makes for one hot work environment. I am sweating my ass off every day. And at home it isn't that bad, but whenever it is like this there is very little wind, which means we get no air flow in the house. And the sun, which still doesn't set until after 10pm pounds on the back of the house, heating it up. So it is quite warm inside. Truly, we don't need air conditioning more than a few days a year, so it isn't worth having it. But I wish I had some air now. I would much rather be a too cold than too hot. If it is cold I can put some more clothes on. If it is hot you reach a point where there is nothing you can do but sweat.
The heat reminds me of working in an Italian restaurant when I was teenager. We had no air, two 600F degree ovens and it was routinely over 90F outside. It was unbearable inside that kitchen. I am sure if the authorities came in and inspected the place they would not have allowed us to work with it that hot (not to mention that occasionally you dripped sweat onto a pizza. Anyone who has worked in a restaurant kitchen would not be surprised at any story of gross stuff in the food they serve. I won't even mention the smelly, dropped on the floor but still used hamburger or the mouse someone deep fried. Oops, I just did.).
As usual, nothing much else to report. We are going up to the cabin tonight since I have the day off tomorrow. Visiting the grandparents. But tomorrow night I will drive home alone since I have to work on Saturday and Sunday. I will probably pick them all up again on Saturday afternoon.
We finally watched the finale of The Amazing Race season 2. Awesome. It is the most entertaining show on TV. We saw the end of Joe Schmoe last week. That was pretty funny. You know I am trying to come up with something to write about when I am talking about TV.
It is freakin' hot in here.
I'll probably write more about nothing this weekend when I work and have nothing to do.
Blowjob (just because I haven't mentioned the word lately. Any ideas on how to get this diary back on the raunchy trail?)
Zaphod
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| Friday, July 30th, 2004
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2:40 pm - Political Survey
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Survey floating around OD. I saw it on Zombywoof and Popeyechicken first.
Abortion: Though I have reservations concerning the concept of men's rights, and although I personally have a bit of a distaste for it (but, truth be told, if we were confronted with a pregnancy right now we would consider abortion. We truly don't want more kids and are taking precautions to stop that, but if it happened anyway...) this issue is between a woman and her doctor.
Age of Consent: Uh, I think a parent is responsible for, well, parenting. And each individual is different. However, for legal stuff I think 16 is reasonable.
Animal Testing: If we are talking medical research to cure disease, test away. If it is to test the latest hairspray, well that is pretty sad. However, I don't think animals have rights like humans do so I am not exactly for banning it. But it wouldn't bother me if it was banned for frivilous testing.
Death Penalty: It's murder. It's no deterrent. The State shouldn't be murdering people.
Downloading Music/Movies: Read Zombywoof's opinion on intellectual property. I agree with him.
Drug Decriminalization: Should be legal. And taxed.
Factory Farming: Fine by me. Regulate their waste disposal so as not to destroy the environment, but factory farming is fine.
Free Trade: The free-er the better.
Funding of the Arts: Sticky one. The arts are a worthy cause, it does improve our culture. I think the arts function better on their own however. But really, I don't care very much.
Gay Marriage: Fine. I think marriage should be a religious ceremony and civil unions for everyone.
Gun Control:There has to be some, or your neighbor can get his own ICBM. This really depends on where you are talking. We have gun control here in Norway, and since nobody has handguns, there isn't a lot of crime involving guns. However, I think the US is way beyond the point where gun control will have any effect on crime.
Immigration: Free and open borders.
Hardcore Pornography: I'm for it!
Human Cloning: Lots of ethical questions here, but that shouldn't stop science from pursuing it. Leave the science to scientists and ethics to politicians (that was a joke).
Military Draft: No. It's slavery. If there is a situation where the country is in grave, mortal danger, then it would seem logical that there would be plenty of volunteers and no need for a draft.
Minimum Wage Laws: As much as I would like to say that corporations should be allowed, in a free, capitalist society, to set the price of their labor I quite frankly don't trust corporations to act ethically.
Prostitution: Legal, regulated and taxed.
School Vouchers: No.
Taxes: Necessary to provide the things that people want from their governent. As much as a libertarian paradise of everyone paying for services as they use them sounds nice on paper, I believe that there are things that only the government can provide. We can debate what those things are of course, but we need taxes to pay for them.
United Nations: Has been a wonderful organization for helping the third world. Not so great as a political body (indecisive and idle threats with no follow through in some cases (and yeah, I know they are at the mercy of the member states so much of the blame for inactivity is the member states fault)). Good idea in theory, needs some work.
Universal Health Care: Cheaper and more efficient than the American system (You can talk all day long about waiting lists and such, but what it comes down to is that the US spends more than twice as much per person on healthcare and tons of people have non at all. And US health care is rationed as well: it is rationed on the ability to pay). I do think, however, that the scale that it would need to be implemented in the US is too large. Perhaps if it was done by state or region.
War on Terror: Let's just say it's a nice slogan, but what George Bush is doing is not eliminating terror.
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2:38 pm - Not much to report
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I swear, this always happens (of course, it doesn't really. This is just my perception because I only remember the times that it does, but Jesus Christ, this seems to happen all the time). I am at work and I have to take some crap over the repair guys which are in a totally different building and way far away. The pharmacy is in the same building. Well it never fucking fails that when I go all the way over there with some stuff, come all the way back, and 5 minutes later I have to go pick up some medicine from the pharmacy. So now I gotta go all the way back over there. And what is even funnier now is that when I dropped off the medicine, that department wanted me take something over the repair guys to get fixed, so off I go again.
The trip to Ænes went just fine. I left by myself on Sunday night and the wife and kids came back on Wednesday afternoon. So I had two whole evenings alone and I didn't write a damn thing in my diary (-ies). What I did do is download some stuff from Sigur Ros, Nurse With Wound, Coil, Current 93 and Throbbing Gristle. Plus some more accessible stuff by Tears for Fears, Starsailor and some more I don't remember. And I ate Kraft Macaroni & Cheese (I have my dad buy boxes and send me just the powdered cheese. That sounds totally ridiculous, to buy powdered cheese when you could just use, uh, real cheese, but it just isn't the same.)
And I put together Emma's new bed. She is getting an actual bed instead of a crib thing. This should prove interesting when we try her out in it on Saturday (right now it sits in our play/computer/former dining room). She likes to lay in it now so I think she likes it. We'll see if she likes it still when she has to go to sleep in it. I think she will do fine once she gets to sleep but I wonder if she won't protest a bit before sleeping since the bed will be facing the wrong way and she has, like all almost 3 year olds, an aversion to stuff that isn't "right".
Nothing else really to report. This is kind of a lame update. But nothing has really happened. The weather is finally summer. It is hot in here. I had sex last night (with Sara sleeping in our bedroom that leaves us with the sofa for sex. And let me tell you, it is a workout. My knees keep sliding between the cushions and I basically have to support all my substantial weight on my arms. Anyway, more than you probably wanted to know). Uh, there was a sale on Coke yesterday so I bought a bunch. I also bought roast beef, baguettes, shrimp salad, lettuce, tomatoes, cookies, potatoes, bananas, strawberries, chocolate, potato chips, cheese and orange juice. Isn't that exciting? Amazingly, not to denigrate other diarist, but there are a lot of diaries out there which basically contain nothing but that kind of material.
That's all. Stay tuned for more lame updates.
Zaphod
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| Friday, July 23rd, 2004
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1:00 pm - Hot dogs for breakfast
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So this morning I was down taking the trash out at work and I saw something that sparked a memory of someone I am not sure I have mentioned here before. I saw a heavy nurse eating a hotdog. At nine in the morning. Now let me get the disclaimers out of the way before I go on. I have nothing against heavy people, primarily because I could stand to lose a pound or 30. And I certainly don't have a problem with anyone being overweight if they like themselves the way they are. For all I know, this woman is the most centered person in the world, so more power to her. What this did, though, is remind me of a person I used to work with back in the States.
We called her The Mustache. It was so descriptive of her, because she did in fact have a yucky black mustache, but also because she carried that ugliness into her personality as well (in fact, I describe her as ugly more because her personality was so offensive, even though she wasn't very physically attractive as well). She was just the most horrible person to work with. She never smiled, she always complained, and every conversation with her felt like you were destroying her life with your petty requests for her to, gasp, do her job.
Anyway, she was overweight. This was at a time where I had been about 40 pounds too heavy and had used a combination of dieting and massive amounts of time spent on my bicycle to get down to a pretty respectable 178 pounds. She was also trying to lose weight and constantly came over to talk to me about it. She gave me advice, advice she received from her personal trainer. Advice I didn't really need because I had lost the weight I wanted to lose and was back to eating sensibly and still exercising like mad (I found that if I rode my bike for 45 minutes a day through the week, I could eat most of what I wanted without gaining anything). But half the times that she came to me in the morning to waste my time and irritate me, she was eating a donut, or a Butterfinger (Mmmmmm....Butterfinger) or any other really bad for you food.
And that is what irritated me the most. I wanted to yell at her, "Hey! If you are so concerned about losing weight, how about laying off the donuts???" Basically, if you are going to complain about how heavy you are, and that you want to lose weight, it is hard to fathom why you are always eating fattening food. Right now, I am overweight again (fat, married and happy as the saying goes), and I eat plenty of bad food. But I don't complain about being fat. Well, only in the sense that I want to lose the weight but I haven't chosen to do anything about it yet. I know that, and thus I don't moan about being overweight.
Now I know that some people have a hard time losing weight and all that. But eating donuts is not gonna make you thinner, no matter genetics or psychology. And I know I shouldn't apologize for anything I think or write, but if you are heavy and were offended by any of this, fuck off. No, that was a joke. Seriously, I don't mean to offend anyone who is overweight. Just this woman who irritated me so. She can be offended all she wants. (and by the by, her sister also worked for the company, and she was really, really fat combined with really poor hygeine and the same aforementioned toxic personality. You can be really big and be plenty beautiful, but she wasn't at all.)
And this sort of reminded me of this girl in high school. She was heavy, and really shy and not very pretty and probably just wanted to be left alone or treated nicely. And to make matters even worse, once in class, for whatever reason, she peed her pants sitting at her desk. Of course, this was really amusing to 16 year old boys and she got mocked quite a bit for this (I have to say that I did no mocking to her face, but laughed inside at the same time that I felt really bad for her). And to make matters even worse, for her, was she had the biggest asshole sitting right behind her. he would poke her, flick her hair, kick her chair. It was terrible to watch, and I sat there and did nothing.
So this asshole is behind her. One day, he uses most of the class time to tie her shoelaces to the legs of her chair. She didn't notice until she stood up to leave in a hurry, like she always did, and fell flat on her face. And god help me, I laughed. Couldn't help it. The whole class laughed and I am sure she was absolutely humiliated.
And now I wonder whatever became of her. Hopefully she went on to be something really great. I hope she has a husband and kids, if that is what she wants. Or a great career. Either way, if I ever saw her again I would apologize for not doing something about that asshole. Or at least helping her up. And for the laughing. Sorry about that.
God, I hope my kids don't end up on either side of the kind of nasty shit that takes place in high school.
Zaphod
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| Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
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1:18 pm - Sick, Anus and Sex
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That title is certainly, uh, suggestive.
I wonder why any of my five remaining readers even bothers to read me anymore. It isn't as if I update more than once a week (or couple of weeks sometimes) and when I do I don't have a lot to say. Although, I am not sure I ever really had much to say that wasn't trivial. Back when I had loads of time with only one kid (that is kind of funny: we used to think we had no spare time at all when we only had Emma. Now, we look back fondly on that time when we had all kinds of free time. I still get more free time than my wife, which needs to be made up for, especially right now with Emma's daycare closed for the summer and me working pretty much every day, so she has to find something to do with two kids. But more on the kids later.) I used to write more often and had loads of notes (I also used to have lots of titilating sex and blowjob talk. Whatever happened to that?). And now when I do write I write a paragraph like the one I am currently writing, which pretty much sucks. So screw this, let's move on.
Sara finally got over whatever was making her sick. She ran a fever of around 103 for three or four days, and a couple times her fever was a bit over 104. The doctor finally took a look at her and said that she was sure it was just the flu and nothing to be worried about, especially since she otherwise seemed fine (eating and peeing and pooing). And now that she is over it she is wonder-baby, does nothing but smile all day. And the other night she even slept from around 8pm til 11:30, fed and went right back to sleep and then slept straight until 7:45 the next morning. Short lived though, as last night she was up several times.
So what else? We are going to Ænes this weekend. You pronounce the Æ thing like a really flat A like in cat but even more so. I, however, choose to call it Anus because I have the mentality of an 8 year old. It is about a three hour drive from here, including a ferry ride. My wife's parents go there every year, way back from when my wife was a kid. My father-in-law used to do a lot fishing there (it is situated on a stream where there is good salmon and trout fishing) but not as much now. I am staying until Sunday afternoon, then driving back alone because I have to work Monday. My wife and both kids will be back on Wednesday, probably (maybe Tuesday if no one seems to be sleeping well or it is pouring rain the whole time or it is too much kids for one parent (if it were me alone we all know that I would be coming back on Monday)). Anyway, that leaves me with a couple more evenings with no one home. What should I do? Blast all the CD's I am embarrassed I like (Van Halen, Rush, downloaded songs by Ratt, Night Ranger and Billy "The Stroke" Squire)? Eat crackers and cheese on the sofa naked? Download endless amounts of porn (like I would have if I were still 18 and had no women or a sex life)? The opportunities are endless.
Proof that I am still a kid: I really like fish sticks. And macaroni and cheese.
I had sex on Sunday night, congratulate me (and thank my wife!). With a condom. She got the IUD inserted yesterday so we can have sex without the condom now, and really that is awesome. We are so not having any more kids, so the condom was absolutely necessary. But really, they suck. Throws off the spontaneity. And it isn't even in the same universe as the feeling of doing it without a condom. My wife says that it feels different but not that different, but it feels completely different to the guy. Although, in the condom's defence, it does add some, uh, stamina. Since the sensation is so numbed, you know. Is this way too much information for everybody? I have never done it, but I wonder how much less fun a blowjob would be with a condom on. Sounds like a lose-lose situation to me (way less sensation for me, taste of latex for my wife). Feel free to add your own opinions here, or tell me to shut the hell up of this is a little personal, or encourage me to get even more explicit (believe, what's in my head is way more than I think even you guys want to read about) if that is your thing. Anyway, we have kind of agreed that to get into the swing of having a regular sex life now that Sara is getting a little older we are going to try to do it on Wednesday (cuz there is not much on TV, and how pathetic is that? Such is married life, though.) and once on the weekends. Like in so many other things, the more you do it the more you do it and want to do it. And the less you do it, the more it becomes routine to not do it. So, in conclusion, Hooray for sex. And, uh, blowjobs.
I've got some other stuff of a more serious nature that I have been thinking of writing about, but not today. I work the next two days, and with summer and so many people on vacation here (it is what they call "felles ferie" here, which I guess you could translate to "the time of year when more people than any other time are on vacation" (felles means together or common (in the sense of collectively) and ferie is holiday or vacation). I have less to do and more time to surf and write (not that I have taken advantage of it, the writing part that is.) So that's it for today.
Yeah. later.
Zaphod
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| Friday, July 16th, 2004
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8:20 am - Norway Best Place To Live
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According to the UN (a source you may or may not agree with, but there you go) Norway is the best place in the world to live (my presence notwithstanding.). Of course, I knew that, otherwise I would not live here. Just thought you should all know this and be jealous of the mighty Zaphod. More on other stuff later, if I have time in between caring for a 7 month old with a 103 fever (it's not like I am alone, my wife has been taking care of her for the last week basically, although she has only been sick for the last day or three. And actually she isn't very sick, just has a fever. It's rather weird) buying a vacuum and a mattress for Emma's new bed and all that other stuff we all have to do every day (even though I have the day off work).
But read this and weep, suckers who live in the 8th best country to live (or those of you in other countries who are on this list somewhere below where I live.)
Zaphod
Norway Best Place to Live
UNITED NATIONS (Reuters) - Norway, Sweden, Australia, Canada and the Netherlands ranked as the best five countries to live in but Africa's quality of life plummeted because of AIDS (news - web sites), said a U.N. report released on Thursday.
The United States was ranked in eighth place, a drop of one position from 2003 in the report that rates not only per-capita income but also educational levels, health care and life expectancy in measuring a nation's well-being.
The Human Development Index, prepared by the U.N. Development Program, is issued annually and includes every country for which statistics are available.
Iraq (news - web sites), Afghanistan (news - web sites), North Korea (news - web sites), and Liberia (news - web sites) were among nations not included because of lack of data.
Norway has led the list for the past four years.
Aside from the overall index, the report produces indicators on women's equality, income inequality and consumption, poverty and other categories that countries use to measure development. In Canada, for example, the index has been used in advertisements to attract business.
The industrialized nations as usual were in the top 20, their ratings close to one another. Belgium was in sixth place, followed by Iceland, the United States, Japan, Ireland, Switzerland, Britain, Finland, Austria, Luxembourg, France, Denmark, New Zealand, Germany and Spain.
At the bottom of the list for the seventh year was Sierra Leone, emerging from a decade of civil war. Right above it were Niger, Burkina Faso, Mali and Burundi.
The world's newest nation, East Timor (news - web sites), was included for the first time and ranked 158th out of 177 countries.
In Africa, the AIDS crisis reduced the average life expectancy in many countries to 40 years or less, making it the biggest factor in the decline of overall human development indicators, the report said. In comparison, the average life expectancy in Norway was 79 years.
At least 20 nations suffered development reversals since 1990, 13 of them in Africa: Angola, Central African Republic, Lesotho, Mozambique, Sierra Leone, Swaziland, Zambia and Zimbabwe, the report said.
"The AIDS crisis cripples states at all levels because the disease attacks people in their most productive years," said Mark Malloch Brown, head of U.N. Development Program.
In Latin American and Caribbean nations, Barbados again headed the list, in 29th place. Argentina ranked 34th, Chile, 43; Costa Rica, 45; Uruguay, 46; Bahamas, 51; Cuba, 52; Mexico, 53; Venezuela, 68. Surprisingly, Brazil dropped to 72nd place, one above Colombia, compared to last year when it ranked 65th.
In Asia, Hong Kong was in 23rd place and Singapore in 25th, South Korea (news - web sites) in 28th, Thailand, 76; Philippines, 83; China, 94; India 127; Bangladesh 138 and Pakistan 142.
In the Middle East, Israel led the list in 22nd place, followed by Cyprus in 30th place, Bahrain, 40; Kuwait, 44; Qatar, 47; United Arab Emirates, 49; Libya, 58; Oman 74; Saudi Arabia, 77; Lebanon, 80; Jordan, 90; Tunisia, 92; Palestinian territories 102; Syria, 106; Algeria, 108; Egypt, 120; Morocco, 125 and Yemen, 149.
The 285-page report can be found on the Web at http://hdr.undp.org.
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| Monday, July 12th, 2004
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5:28 pm - Stuff
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So, according to this entry by the Diarymaster if I don't have my old entries and notes back by now, the chances are grim for ever getting them back at all. That pretty much sucks, but I have to partly blame myself for not doing timely downloads. But we go just move on from here, and I said before that I have a download from sometime last year, and the rest up to now I have in my livejournal. What I might start doing, to fill up my diary, is start adding entries I will call Zaphod Classic: old entries, added like new, but only the good ones. Of course, long time readers probably don't need to read them, but new folks might like it. And I might even download my diary more often.
So let's see. Here I sit on Sunday evening and the apartment is empty. We went up to the in-law's cabin, about a 45 minute drive from here, earlier today and spent the afternoon there. I have to work this week, and with Emma's daycare not open (and it is more than a month until she can start her new, all day daycare) the Wife is looking for something to fill the days and occupy two kids. We thought the cabin for a couple of days (without me since I have to work) might be a win-win, a win for my wife cuz it gives Emma something to do (i.e. bug the holy crap out of grandma all day) and gives the grandparents the opportunity to spend some time with the kids, and their daughter. That leaves me at home alone for a couple afternoons/evenings (which adds a win into my column but probably adds a lose in my wife's column cuz she now has to be in charge of two kids alone all day including the usually chaotic night-time ritual in which I basically get Emma to bed). What I have learned so far tonight is that as nice as it is to be alone, I have gotten used to all the activity around here. And I used to be able to spend days at a time on the computer but it seems like after a couple of hours I get kinda bored. Update: It is now Monday and the sleeping didn't go all that awesome up at the cabin (or here for that matter. I slept terribly, probably because I knew I had to work the next day for the first time in a week) and since the in-laws need to come to town on Tuesday night anyway, I am going to pick them up on Tuesday afternoon. Meanwhile, I have all evening this evening by myself. What should I do? Any suggestions?
A couple of things I wanted to add to the Greece trip. First, did anyone know that you can't flush your toilet paper down the toilet in Greece? Seems that they have old pipes that get clogged so after you wipe you toss the paper in a trash can next to the toilet. Imagine having a couple days of shitty toilet paper in a can in your bathroom, in the summer when it is in the 90's every day and you don't have air conditioning.
The second thing was just a comment on the culture there. Everything takes place on Greek time, and that time is s l o w. They don't seem to be in a hurry to do anything. Very relaxing, really. Normally, you don't go out to dinner until at least 8 in the evening. What is cool about this is going there and experiencing the way they do things. I can't understand some tourists, particularly Americans (sorry guys!) who want things to be the same as at home. I can particularly point to my step mother, who did nothing but complain when she was here about everything from the hotel room being too small to the fact that the Coke tastes different (she hated it, but I am so used to it that I like it better here than in the States. If you didn't know, the original recipe for Coke dating back to the 1800's called for real sugar, rather than syrup. When they changed the formula for new Coke (what a disaster that was. Yuck.) and then came back with Coke Classic, they started using syrup instead of sugar. The Coke here is still made with sugar, so supposedly it tastes more like the original Coke.). She would have hated Greece, with their toilet paper buckets and lack of air conditioning. And I am sure the Coke tastes all wrong, although I didn't notice much difference.
What I am getting at here is that it is refreshing to experience another culture, and that it is difficult to compare countries because some things are done differenty for reasons beyond what you may think. I read some columnist once who said that us folks in Europe don't have nearly the standard of living as those in the States based on things like the fact that most people in Europe don't have air conditioning or how many people have more than one TV or how many channels they have. This is a totally ridiculous comparison. We don't have air conditioning here, because we don't need it but maybe 2 days a year. And that would mostly be true for much of northern Europe as well. Air conditioning is not widespread in Greece because, well, thats the way they live. And the way they build their homes out of stucco and marble floors means that even though we had our apartment in Greece shut up all day in the heat without the air conditioning on (we had it, like some hotels do) it never got nearly as warm in there as you would think.
I don't even know where I am going with this now, it is kind of a rambling brain dump. I guess one point I wanted to make was that standard of living is a really arbitrary ranking. Sure in the States things are cheaper, and you have more conveniences. But you have to work your ass off to pay for it all while I get 5 weeks of vacation a year and only work 37.5 hours a week. It's all relative, and based on what you value more. Or I am full of shit. I don't know.
Anyway, that got way off track. Not much else to report, really. Weather is colder than normal. The house is empty. Front 242 is currently playing on WinAmp. I am going to eat bacon and eggs for dinner and probably die of a heart attack all alone in the house (speaking of death, the old lady downstairs croaked last week. She was 88. We were out and came back around 7pm and people were standing around outside her apartment. Shortly, there appeared a black van with a stretcher and a bodybag on top and they went down to get her. Lucky for her it seems she died in her sleep. Kind of weird that it happened all of a sudden though, since we just saw the day before leaving to go shopping. The old dude accross the street from us, who was the neighborhood spy, keeping tabs on all of us and what we were doing, died earlier this spring. I wonder who on this block is next???). I guess I will close with some pictures of my kids, you know to get the cutesy, awwwwww notes.
Emma on the sand in Greece
"What are you doing??"
Happy Sara
Angry Sara
Baby Zaphod
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